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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322013">i'll be yours forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexawarrior/pseuds/clexawarrior'>clexawarrior</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Killing Eve (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Hurt/Comfort, KE Week 2020, Killing Eve Week - Day 7, Sickfic, alternate 3x08, this is really just a bunch of fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:01:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexawarrior/pseuds/clexawarrior</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of meeting at the ballroom, Villanelle asks Eve if they can meet up at her hotel room instead. When Eve shows up to find Villanelle running a fever and not acting quite like herself, she's determined to get Villanelle to open up to her. And maybe she's finally ready to open up to Villanelle a bit too.</p>
<p>Killing Eve Week Day 7 - Hurt/Sick/Comfort</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Killing Eve Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll be yours forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This one-shot is really fluffy, so I hope it makes up for the sadness of yesterday's fic. I've enjoyed participating in Killing Eve Week so much, and I'm kind of sad today is the last day, but since it is, I want to thank all of you for reading my fics and leaving kudos and comments. It's felt so good to be writing again. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thirty minutes. Eve has been at the ballroom for thirty minutes when she receives a text from a number she now knows to be Villanelle's asking if they can meet somewhere else instead. Eve doesn't even know why she's still here, why she's even stayed all this time. She should be pissed off with Villanelle right now. She should have gone home twenty minutes ago. But she hasn't. She wants to talk to Villanelle, because Villanelle is the only one who's ever accepted her for who she is without judgment, so she'll go to whatever dumb address Villanelle just texted her.</p>
<p>Outside, she hails a cab, rattling off the address to the driver, but only when he drops her off in front of an expensive-looking hotel does Eve actually start to consider why Villanelle asked to change their meeting location in the first place. She'd originally written it off as Villanelle being annoying and spoiled, but what if that's not it at all? What if Villanelle has expectations for their meeting today and wants to be prepared? No matter what, Eve knows she isn't ready for that. But she also knows Villanelle won't pressure her into anything.</p>
<p>Eve feels safe with Villanelle, despite all the reasons she shouldn't.</p>
<p>She walks into the hotel, expecting to see Villanelle waiting for her in the lobby or perhaps in the hotel bar, but she doesn't see her anywhere. She loops back around to the front desk area, almost crashing into a small child who is running around wildly and laughing with his brother as their parents check in, but Villanelle still isn't anywhere to be found.</p>
<p>Frowning, Eve pulls her phone out of her pocket and brings up Villanelle's message again. Maybe she included a room number, and Eve just overlooked it. But no. There's nothing. Only the address.</p>
<p><em>Room number? </em>Eve texts. She tries to focus on the irritation she's feeling right now, but she can also feel a tiny bloom of worry.</p>
<p><em>Sorry. 1417. </em>The reply is almost instant, and Eve's frown deepens.</p>
<p>Since when has Villanelle ever apologized for anything?</p>
<p>The last time Eve saw her—really saw her, not just for two seconds through a train window—Villanelle was her cocky, confident self, infuriating Eve just as much as she always does. So what happened between then and now?</p>
<p>Eve's stomach flips as her worry takes hold, completely snuffing out her annoyance. Maybe something happened to Villanelle that gave her no choice but to change the location of their meeting place. Maybe she asked Eve to meet her here because she's seriously injured and physically can't get to another place right now. Maybe this isn't even her hotel room at all.</p>
<p>In a heartbeat, Eve is in the elevator, stabbing the button for the fourteenth floor. The ride up drags on forever as all sorts of horrible scenarios play out in Eve's mind, Villanelle getting hurt in all sorts of awful ways. She pictures Villanelle right now bleeding out in a luxurious bed in her hotel room. She imagines walking in only to find it's too late to do anything to save her.</p>
<p>Eve's vision goes blurry with unshed tears, and she tries her best to blink them away. She barely even knows Villanelle, but a world without the intoxicating blonde in it is not a world Eve wants to live in.</p>
<p>A stab of relief mixes in with Eve's worry as the elevator doors spring open, and she bolts down the hall, scanning the plaques outside the rooms until she finds room 1417. She's about to knock on the door when she realizes it's not shut all the way, propped open by the deadbolt. Icy fear shoots down Eve's spine at the realization. Villanelle is so many things, but she isn't lazy. Eve's worries must be well placed if Villanelle can't even get up to come answer the door.</p>
<p>Pushing the door aside, Eve races to the bedroom, stomach filling with dread at the sight of Villanelle lying in bed with her eyes closed. Her face is creased with pain, and she looks incredibly pale, covers drawn tightly around her.</p>
<p>"Shit, Vill, where's the wound?" Eve pulls the sheets back in a panic.</p>
<p>Villanelle catches Eve's hands before she can move the sheets very far, though, glaring at her before pulling them back around herself again. "What are you talking about? I'm freezing."</p>
<p>"Probably because you lost so much blood," Eve says.</p>
<p>Only when Villanelle gives her a confused look does Eve realize how crazy she sounds. There's no blood on the floor and no blood on the sheets, which would surely be covered in red by now if Villanelle's injury was anything serious. So either she has a very minor injury or…</p>
<p>Eve reaches out to touch Villanelle's forehead with the back of her hand. Burning hot.</p>
<p>Villanelle jerks away from the touch after only a second, scowling up at her. "Stop it, Eve! Your hand is so cold."</p>
<p>"You have a fever." Eve's shoulders droop in relief.</p>
<p>"You're being dramatic." Villanelle rolls her eyes. "I don't get sick. I'm fine."</p>
<p>"Then why did you ask me to meet up here instead?" Eve arches an eyebrow at her.</p>
<p>"Because I didn't feel like going out," Villanelle says.</p>
<p>Eve can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation and the immense relief she's feeling right now. The whole ride up the elevator, she thought Villanelle was up here dying when, in reality, the big idiot just has a fever.</p>
<p>"You think this is funny?" Villanelle shoots Eve an incredulous look.</p>
<p>"So you admit you're sick then?" Eve sits carefully on the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>"That's not what I said," Villanelle counters.</p>
<p>"You don't have to say it," Eve tells her. "I'd know you were sick even if I didn't know you had a temperature because you changed the location of our meeting today, and I arrived to find you looking pitiful in bed."</p>
<p>"I don't look pitiful." Villanelle pulls herself into a sitting position. "And I'm not sick either."</p>
<p>Eve decides not to tell Villanelle that despite her defiant eyes, she looks as if she's about to pass out at any minute. Eve instinctively pulls Villanelle against her. She doesn't want Villanelle to push herself just to prove some stupid point to Eve.</p>
<p>"Okay, you don't look pitiful," Eve concedes, "but you really shouldn't be trying to get up right now. You need medicine."</p>
<p>"I already took medicine," Villanelle says, voice muffled by the fabric of Eve's coat, and Eve is slightly surprised she hasn't already pulled away. "I can take care of myself, you know."</p>
<p>"I know," Eve says gently.</p>
<p>She shifts on the bed, preparing herself to let go of Villanelle so she can lie back down and rest, but she's stopped by Villanelle's arms wrapping around her waist. Eve's eyes widen in surprise. She thought Villanelle would want to be out of this vulnerable position as soon as possible, but it seems as if maybe…she <em>wants </em>Eve to hold her. But that can't be right. That doesn't seem like Villanelle at all. Regardless of the reason for Villanelle's change of mood, though, Eve rests her cheek against the top of Villanelle's head and just holds her. She may never get this chance again.</p>
<p>"I think I am sick, Eve," Villanelle says after a few moments, voice so quiet that Eve almost doesn't hear her.</p>
<p>Eve has to bite the inside of her cheek to stop any one of the shocked responses her brain produces from spilling past her lips. The Villanelle Eve knows is strong, confident, never wavering. She would never admit Eve is right about anything, and she certainly would never, <em>ever </em>allow Eve to hold her like this. So why is she doing so now?</p>
<p>As much as Eve wants to question her, she doesn't want to break the moment just yet. Eve <em>likes </em>holding Villanelle in her arms like this, and she wishes the blonde would let her guard down more often. Eve understands why Villanelle has to be an unstoppable force to the rest of the world, but she doesn't always have to be that way with Eve. Eve wants to get to know the girl beneath the mask.</p>
<p>She brings a hand up to comb through Villanelle's blonde hair, reveling in the feeling of the soft strands brushing against her fingers. Villanelle leans further into Eve's touch, and Eve thinks maybe Villanelle is enjoying this too. As much as Eve wants this moment to go on forever, though, she knows it won't, and she doesn't want to waste the whole time in silence.</p>
<p>"Did something happen, Vill?" Eve asks softly.</p>
<p>Villanelle is silent for several long seconds, and Eve begins to think maybe she isn't going to answer. Maybe Eve has pushed her luck too far. But then she feels Villanelle give a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.</p>
<p>"Do you want to talk about it?" Eve's heart begins to race in her chest as she desperately wishes for Villanelle to let her in.</p>
<p>"I don't know," Villanelle answers, and Eve tries her best to ignore the wriggle of disappointment in her chest.</p>
<p>"Okay." Eve rubs a comforting hand up and down Villanelle's arm. "That's okay."</p>
<p>"I need to lie down again, I think." Villanelle shifts uncomfortably. "My head hurts, and the room is spinning, and I… Will you help me?"</p>
<p>Eve's hand stills at the vulnerability in Villanelle's voice, and a flash of worry shoots through her again. How high is Villanelle's temperature? Then, she realizes the question for what it is. Villanelle isn't ready to discuss whatever happened to her, but she also isn't ready for Eve to leave her. She wants Eve to stay.</p>
<p>"Yeah." Eve's voice cracks, and she clears her throat. "Yes, of course."</p>
<p>Ever so gently, Eve eases Villanelle back down onto her pillow, and she watches as the creases in Villanelle's forehead smooth out at the more comfortable position. Then she spurs herself into action, standing from the bed. She can't very well just sit here and watch Villanelle sleep for hours. That'll be sure to piss the blonde off in no time. No, it would be better for Eve to go sit in another room and wait for Villanelle to wake up again. Before she can take a single step, though, a hand on her arm stops her, and she looks down into tired hazel eyes.</p>
<p>"Will you stay in here with me?" Villanelle asks.</p>
<p>"Yeah." Eve nods. "I can do that."</p>
<p>As she takes off her coat and drapes it over the chair in the corner of the room, Eve tries not to think about what happened the last time she and Villanelle were in a bed together. Eve has done nothing but break Villanelle's trust, and yet Villanelle keeps placing trust in her. Villanelle must care a lot about Eve to allow her to see her so weak, to <em>fall asleep </em>around her, when she knows full well what Eve is capable of.</p>
<p>Eve carefully climbs onto the bed beside Villanelle, trying her best not to jostle the mattress too much. A lump rises in her throat when she sees Villanelle quickly scan her hands for weapons, but she swallows it down. She can't do anything to change the past. All she can do now is try her best in the future.</p>
<p>She reaches out a hand to card her fingers through Villanelle's soft blonde hair again, and she smiles when Villanelle hums in appreciation, finally letting her eyes fall closed.</p>
<p>Her breathing evens out after a few seconds, and Eve knows Villanelle has finally allowed herself to fall asleep. Eve keeps her eyes on Villanelle for a long while, trying to feel any ounce of the anger she once felt toward her, but it's gone. Eve wasted so much time being angry with Villanelle, but she isn't angry anymore. She never wants to hurt Villanelle again.</p>
<p>After an hour or two, Eve begins to feel as if she might drift off as well. That is, until she hears the bedsheets rustling as Villanelle stirs again beside her.</p>
<p>"Eve?" Villanelle asks, and Eve opens her eyes to see Villanelle feeling the space beside her without opening her own eyes.</p>
<p>"I'm right here." Eve grabs Villanelle's hand in hers, not missing the small smile that curls up the corners of Villanelle's lips at the contact.</p>
<p>"Will you get me a drink of water?" Villanelle asks, voice raspy.</p>
<p>"Sure." Eve squeezes Villanelle's hand before getting up and heading over to the kitchen area.</p>
<p>She grabs a paper cup from an already open pack sitting on the counter, and then she opens the fridge to find a half empty gallon of water sitting beside an unopened bottle of champagne. Guilt swirls in her stomach again at this second reminder of what happened in Paris, and Eve does her best to push it away.</p>
<p><em>This time isn't going to be anything like last time, </em>she tells herself as she grabs the gallon and fills the cup. She didn't have any idea what she wanted back then, but now she's almost positive she does.</p>
<p>After putting the water gallon back in the fridge, Eve brings the cup back over to Villanelle's side of the bed, holding it out to her.</p>
<p>"Here you go," she says, drawing Villanelle's eyes open and up to meet hers.</p>
<p>Villanelle looks so exhausted that Eve can't resist adding, "Do you need help sitting up?"</p>
<p>She mentally prepares herself for the frustration that could very well follow from Villanelle, but no biting words come forth from the blonde. Instead, Villanelle looks up at Eve with uncertain eyes before shaking her head and slowly pulling herself up on her own.</p>
<p>Eve hands the cup over to Villanelle and watches as she starts sipping on the water. She may have originally been drawn to Villanelle for the chaos and destruction she creates, but this proves to Eve that her feelings now run so much deeper than that. She's just as drawn to this vulnerable Villanelle as she is to the confident and unwavering woman she's used to.</p>
<p>Villanelle drinks until all the water is gone, and then Eve instinctively reaches over to take the cup from her, setting it on the bedside table. She's slightly surprised when Villanelle flashes her a grateful smile instead of a glare.</p>
<p>As Villanelle lies down again and Eve climbs back into bed beside her, Eve's mind is whirring with thoughts. Eve wants Villanelle to open up to her, but maybe Eve should open up to Villanelle first. She's the one who broke the trust between them the first time, who backed out on Villanelle the second time. Thinking back on it now, maybe Villanelle's feelings actually haven't been all that guarded. After all, isn't it Eve who was too afraid to admit the truth?</p>
<p>Before Eve can even think of a way to voice the myriad of thoughts in her mind, though, Villanelle is speaking again.</p>
<p>"I've never had anyone take care of me like this before," she says, voice barely above a whisper.</p>
<p>"Never?" Eve asks before she can stop herself.</p>
<p>She's always known Villanelle can't have had a happy life what with the way she is now, but she never even considered that the blonde might have gone through her entire life without ever having a single person who truly cared about her.</p>
<p>"My mother never even cared about me," Villanelle admits, and Eve thinks Villanelle's eyes look shinier than they usually do. But surely not. Right? "No one cares about me. That's just the way it is."</p>
<p>Villanelle sighs sadly, looking away, and a surge of protectiveness rises up in Eve. That's not the way it is. No one else in this world may care about Villanelle, but there's no denying that Eve does. She cares about Villanelle a great deal, and she wants her to know it.</p>
<p>"Hey," Eve says, drawing Villanelle's eyes back to hers. She reaches out a hand to cup Villanelle's cheek. "I care about you."</p>
<p>Next thing Eve knows, Villanelle's lower lip is trembling, and then she's crying. And not just tears escaping from her eyes either. Villanelle is full-on crying, and Eve is so surprised, she has no idea what to do.</p>
<p>"I killed my mom, Eve," Villanelle says through her tears.</p>
<p>Her words break the spell, and then Eve is reaching out to pull Villanelle against her, rubbing her back as she cries. "Shh." Eve presses a kiss to her temple. "It's okay, Villanelle. It's okay."</p>
<p>"No, it's not." Villanelle shakes her head against Eve's chest, and Eve can feel the heat of Villanelle's forehead on her neck. "Konstantin was so disappointed in me when I told him, and he's right. I shouldn't have done it."</p>
<p>"I'm not disappointed in you," Eve says. "I'm sure you had your reasons."</p>
<p>"I did," Villanelle sniffles. "She deserved it. But I wasn't supposed to do it. I killed my own mother, Eve. I've killed so many people. How can you even hold me right now? How are you not afraid of me?"</p>
<p>Villanelle tries to pull away from Eve, but Eve only holds her tighter, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her heart aches at the thought of Villanelle opening up to Konstantin only for him to make her feel like shit. Eve doesn't even care to think about whether or not Villanelle made the right decision. All she wants is for Villanelle to be okay.</p>
<p>"Because I <em>know </em>you," Eve insists. "I will never be afraid of you, Villanelle."</p>
<p>"Why not?" Villanelle says sullenly. "Everyone else is."</p>
<p>This is the moment where Eve usually shuts down, where she realizes she's said too much already, but she doesn't want to stop being vulnerable this time. Villanelle has let her guard down and let Eve in multiple times now, and Eve knows she's finally ready to do the same.</p>
<p>"Because I would rather die than live without you."</p>
<p>Villanelle finally pulls away from Eve, just far enough to look at her. Her eyes are red and shiny with tears, and Eve thinks her eyes look so green when she cries. Eve wonders for a moment if Villanelle is going to kiss her. She doesn't think she's ever wanted anything more, a stark contrast to where she was six months ago, even a couple weeks ago. But she's tired of running, and she's tired of fighting it.</p>
<p>She wants Villanelle.</p>
<p>"I love you?" Villanelle phrases it like a question, as if she's waiting to see if Eve will accept it this time or not.</p>
<p>Eve should never have denied it in the first place. Villanelle may not feel love the way everyone else does, but there's no doubt in Eve's mind that Villanelle loves her in her own unique Villanelle way. There's also no doubt in Eve's mind this time about how she feels in return.</p>
<p>"I love you too," she says confidently, sure of herself. She doesn't know how Villanelle will react, but she wants her to know the truth.</p>
<p>"Really?" Villanelle looks hesitant to believe the words.</p>
<p>"Really," Eve answers immediately. "I've loved you for a long time now, and I've been lying to you and myself and everyone, but I'm done with that now. I'm so tired of being ashamed of how I feel because of what other people might think of me. There's nothing for me to be ashamed of. You're amazing and beautiful and so talented at what you do, and I love you."</p>
<p>Villanelle traces Eve's bottom lip with her finger, and Eve almost leans forward, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of the evening finally feeling Villanelle's lips against hers again. But she can't ignore the utter exhaustion in Villanelle's eyes.</p>
<p>She takes Villanelle's finger in her hand. "Ah-ah." Eve kisses Villanelle's fingertip. "You're running a fever. You need to get some rest."</p>
<p>"But I feel fine." Villanelle pouts. "I'm wide awake now."</p>
<p>"If by wide awake you mean you can barely keep your eyes open, then sure, I agree with you," Eve teases. "Seriously, Villanelle. I just want you to feel better. So go to sleep, and we can watch a movie when you wake up."</p>
<p>Villanelle looks into Eve's eyes for several seconds, perhaps searching for truth in them, and Eve knows she will find it. She's not going anywhere. Not anymore. Villanelle shoots Eve a small smile before lying her head back down on her pillow, grabbing Eve's hand in hers and intertwining their fingers.</p>
<p>"I hope you know I'm not normally like this," Villanelle says as she closes her eyes. "This is only because I'm sick."</p>
<p>"Of course," Eve says teasingly. "You're a tough, ruthless assassin who could kill me at any time, and you're doing a huge service by letting me take care of you without snapping my neck."</p>
<p>Villanelle opens one eye to glare at Eve, but her expression quickly gives way to a playful smile. "That's right," she says.</p>
<p>"Get some sleep, love." Eve kisses Villanelle on the forehead. "You should feel better in the morning."</p>
<p>Eve allows her own eyes to fall closed as she lies next to Villanelle, willing herself to fall asleep as well. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. She can't even remember the last time she got a good night's rest. Something tells her she'll be able to sleep better now that Villanelle's finally by her side, though. That is, she would if she couldn't feel said blonde's eyes boring a hole through the side of her head.</p>
<p>"What?" Eve opens her eyes and turns to face Villanelle.</p>
<p>Villanelle's eyes quickly dart away from Eve's, dropping to the sheets between them. "Maybe I should take some more medicine, just to be safe."</p>
<p>"You never took any medicine, did you?" Eve realizes.</p>
<p>"No," Villanelle admits, chancing a glance up at Eve.</p>
<p>"Villanelle!" Eve glares at her.</p>
<p>"I don't have any," Villanelle protests. "I'm here for business. Do you think I planned on getting sick?"</p>
<p>Eve rolls her eyes, feigning annoyance she doesn't actually feel, but she doesn't complain, because the truth is, she'll do anything for Villanelle. Even if that something is running out to the nearest convenience store right this instant in the freezing cold of the night. Even if that something is staying right by Villanelle's side until she's better. Even if that something is never leaving her again.</p>
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